Kerry Heath








Kerry Heath Artist 1954 - 2001

In Loving Memory
She lived her art
Inbetween the dark and the light 

I never in my dreams did I think I would be writing thses words about Kerry. We spent quite a few years together. We met in 1990 and immediately recognised the art in the other. Her art was obvious, mine more hidden, her art my music our dreams ~ our innocent dreams twisted into a tale of sadness ~ but as she danced the earth moved with her ~ and with the wave of her hand she painted the heaven of art that shall live on. 

I met Kerry whilst I was consumed in writing my novel, and immediately she was reflecting it in her pictures. Two hearts dreams and minds bursting with innocent creativity mirroring to each other. We were alive with love and in its' creativity.

Kerry was selling her paintings and wares at Paddington Markets on Saturdays which was a good excuse to get me out of the  recording studio. We sold a healthy number of mini pictures of her paintings, individually glass framed photographic reproductions were very special ~ typically fifty layed out on black velvet across the table which looked simply spectacular because of the contrast of  rich colours and variety of content ~ especially amongst some of the young girls who would befriend characters in her paintings.

Kerrys hopes were denied especially when a certain business woman thought it best to screw her with inconsideration. Her paintings were to be made into fifty cards accompanied with text and fronted by a famous astrologer. Distastfully they didn't fulfill their contractual obligations and mistreated the essence of workmanship. That's putting it nicely. It is strange to note that even though her art was loved by so many, success in publication always seemed to elude Kerry. It's probable that some lawyer in some office would find a clause in some contract to inform me that certain pictures must be removed from this site, so I shan't be surprised although they would have to fulfill the contract, which is fine by me. 

Serious recovery from being let down just once too many times was necessary. Kerry had always been into spititual movement ~ we met via an Egyption Prince which sounds kind of exotic but anyway .. we were together on this and worked on moving the feelings that felt they needed to be moved ~ but it was a neverending bucket of feelings to be processed. We shared and exchanged deep animal instinctual release but still the pit was endless. We tried everything but at some stage I recognised it was becoming too much for me. On the good side ~ Kerrys moods pretty much matched whatever my problem was at the time, so we were good sparring partners but both with extreme mood swings. The combination was a cocktail that together proved too much for us and we had to separate. That was several years ago. We managed to stay close friends and actually sometimes worked better together helping out on each others projects. I expanded my skills into web site design and posted up Kerrys' art and always suggested and used her art when I could -- she would visit for tea and draw another cell in the storyboard of my novel of madness. I should organise them but that will be another day. 

Kerry was trying to be positive to me on the phone, in the midst of tragedy. It wasn't her first attempt at suicide but she said to me she wanted to live. And I took that as her being over the hump, I sighed relief, but that was our last conversation. But so many things happened just to make it harder on her, her benefits were swapping over from social to medical. Well they cut off her social without starting the medical hence no money but with NO WARNING! which in her condition would have been a real heavy burdon -- they used the excuse they didn't receive the papers blah blah which goes to show their departments aren't co-ordinated. Also her Kerrys mother became ill and was admited into hospital, I guess her mothers illness was again too much pressure.

It's been 13 days since I found her. It was obvious I knew it the key was in the door mail at the step and she was gone and I knew she was gone and there was nothing to do that would make any difference. And so I did nothing for a while except act in shock. I zombied back up to the street, was already running late to visit the Doctor and thought I'd go there and that was where I'd get help.

But when I got there I was told my appointment was missing and the Doc was busy with another and so I just went away in quiet disbelief. That was easy, I just went away. Walked the streets until Paula got home and she suggested I call the police and I'm probably in shock. So that was 5 or 6 by then. Gave them the wrong address so when I got home they had left a message so I had to look up the exact address (been there a thousand times) and of course only then did I actually say that I saw her because... if I wished enough or held my breath it woud all go away and Kerry would be her depressed self again. I did not believe it and I still did not believe it. And still I find it hard to believe. And in her paintings from dark to light her last period was very dark. They express her and are her children and I loved them all, although the pain in the last series was an indication she was suffering, but she suffered with zeal, embraced her fears and painted without regret or regard for societies permission totally and wholly honouring her wildness and deep chakra power. 

I am especially grateful for her belief and hard work she extended to me to support me in my dream, even in the thick of our mad screaming behaviour she brought life into the characters. I guess I was flattered when she did a series of lovers ~ two shapes flying, interwined drifting in loves bliss. 

At the time of her death so much sorrow filled our hearts that we just did what we could. Her close friends Rick and Roz collected Kerrys paintings and some personal things - but they left much of her writings, her diary (we had matching diaries) her sketchpad, paints, brushes, alter of ritual stones and figurines and call me sentimental, so I collected and saved what was left and in time I shall post up more. Heaven knows why but In doing so I feel I have rekindled a light very precious to me. I already have many of Kerry's paintings living with me at home and now more memorabilia ~ and the rest will be at her parents house. She was very dear to me and I find peace in the thought that she is released from her earthly chain and living in the dream her soul so very dearly needed and desired.

Her mother, Biddie who had just fallen ill just prior to Kerrys death died in hospital 8 days later. 

I re-visited her place a few days after and it felt peaceful and still. It appears depression finally overpowered her and in her depression she chose to release herself from this life. She needs no forgiveness for she is blameless of any misgivings ~ is accepted with all her pain ~ tearily missed and heartfelt as a part of me, as I burst into sorrow my mind floods dueling on moments shared of ecstatic dance and movement ~ her powerful war-ish banshee devil cries and shy delicate laughs and of course her love that streams from her paintings into my heart. 

May you feel her through her art.

John Zulaikha

Kerry Heath
1954 - 2001.











 In loving memory
Kerry Heath
© Zulenet 2001